Motorcycle Duck Switch!
A Duck switch? What in the hell is a duck switch? Ha Ha! We at Motosquirrel are here to ask you why YOU don’t know what a “Duck Switch” is!
We mean really! YOU! Don’t know what a Motorcycle “Duck Switch” is?
Your response is perfectly reasonable. We didn’t know what one of these little yellow baby duckies were until recently when we……wait for it…….INVENTED IT!- Yes, we here at Motosquirrel will invent, craft and otherwise McGyver anything at all when a need or desire arises….
So Motosquirrelfriends…..what on the Furry Gods green earth or Tarmac is this freshly invented “Duck Switch”?. Read On! -Remember you learned it here first.
This newly minted invention came about several months ago when we Motosquirrelers recognized a unique quality shared by ALL MOTORCYCLISTS AROUND THE GLOBE!!
It is this: WE FORGET SH*T ALL THE TIME BEFORE WE RIDE!!
We are the first to admit it. Think about it. How many times have you gone on a ride after preparing for what seems like an endless amount of time, gathering odds and ends both in the areas of necessity and comfort prior to take-off, only to forget that ONE DAMB THING! And so often we find it is that same one DAMB THING!! – Argh!
For some riders it might be the garage door opener thingy, perhaps a neck warmer, maybe a cell phone, a work door key and, still, for others it could be something so basic as to remembering to back off on their choke before taking off! Whatever the object that is continually forgotten (We forgot already), it is guaranteed to be enjoyed by an imaginary rider who is tiny and left inside your home! Unless…..there is installed on your motorcycle such a device as the miraculous and previously teased at “Duck Switch”.
This device will allow you to remember (For your dumbass self- yep we said it!) anything before you ride. But there is just one hitch (We’ll get to that later).
How this “New Technology” works-
Physical parts needed:
One: A small, slightly garish, cute (Chotchkeesque) token-like, possibly (But Not Necessary) a biological facsimile, likely humorous figurine with a small, but STRONG neodyne or ceramic magnet installed on it’s underside or up it’s butt! (Sorry for the graphic content).
Two: (IMPORTANT) This small figure must have a front and rear as recognized by you! An ass front as well as back, for example, just won’t work. We suggest sticking to small animals or figurines (Maybe a pewter toy-soldier would work nicely on some bikes….hmmmm). The point here is to know the front from the back!
Three: (IMPORTANT) If your Motorcycle does NOT have any metal surface with which your “Duck Switch” can stick to: YOU WILL NEED TO EMPLOY SOME WELL TRUSTED VELCRO male and female sides to your own chosen “Duck Switch”.
Fitment/Mounting: Apply your non-marring figurine (Hopefully chosen well by you) either by applied velcro (Ask a certified velcro installer to help you) or the good Ol’ Fashioned magnetic way to a most centered and conspicuous part within the triple-crown/dash area of your Motorbike.
The placement should be such that the figure can be seen clearly from the side AS WELL as prior to riding.
Please Note: (This Duck Switch should NOT IMPEDE your visual perception or awareness of the road, NOR should the color clash with your sensibilities or cause heartburn- THIS IS A SERIOUS PIECE OF GEAR THAT MUST BE TREATED WITH SAFETY MINDEDNESS!) Please abandon use of apparatus if it causes ill concern or heartburn!
Five: Proper Usage (Example given is for illustration purposes only).
Let’s say that the object continually forgotten prior to every ride are your “Special” sunglasses.
It is now time to employ our most special invention,”The Duck Switch”, with it’s mission.
Step One(*): Place meaning or infix into your selected object/”Ducky” in parallel with your rider mind that it is now charged with the task of remembering this specific object (In this case extra glasses). The position of the Duck Switch is KEY here. The Duckswitch has taken care of or “Knows” that you have remembered to bring your “Sunglasses” only when it is facing forward (As a Motorcyclist would- Unless you are crazy or are a stunt rider). The rider shares responsibility by looking down at his/her Duckswitch and ascertaining the object(s) with which they were to bring. “The rider must ask themselves the question: “Did I bring those glasses?” If the answer is a “Yes”, the Duckswitch get’s physically turned to the forward facing position. When our “Ducky” is facing backward, it should be understood by the rider that the sunglasses HAVE NOT been accounted for or included along for their ride.
When you, as the rider (Not the Ducky- Nope) have realized that you have FORGOTTEN to wear or pack away the glasses, the “Duck Switch” should remain facing backwards! Only when you are positive that you have this needed object on your person or packed on your bike are you to ……..wait for it…..(Trendy) TURN the Duck Switch to the FORWARD FACING position!
Got It? When riding and you spy your “Duck Switch” facing forward, it should directly correspond with the glasses on your face! It’s that simple. Effective, Direct, Fast, Efficient technology as only we here at MOTOSQUIRREL can and WILL continue to bring you. Just as assuredly we will continue to over capitalize words, bastardize spellings and otherwise offer undue and unsolicited exclamations for our readers!!
Get your own “Duck Switch” TODAY!!
Advisory from Motosquirrel: All riders should consult a professional BMW mechanic or equally qualified technician to assess, measure and install a “Duck Switch” onto your machine. Motosquirrel cannot accept any liability for your safety!
*There is no step two!
Also (Hitch) Please Note: Have backups of all utilized “Duckswitches” as local children may make backups of yours!!
Happy Riding and you can thank us later!!